Letter: We cannot be ruled by our egos

Posted 11/23/22

To the editor:

We cannot keep talking only to ourselves. It serves a limited purpose of solidarity but

only reaffirms the ongoing divide amongst us. Whether a member of the left or right …

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Letter: We cannot be ruled by our egos


To the editor:

We cannot keep talking only to ourselves. It serves a limited purpose of solidarity but

only reaffirms the ongoing divide amongst us. Whether a member of the left or right team,

to continue as we are offering no constructive reform, will not bring us together. And together we should be in our shared humanity. I am convinced that common ground exists where both sides may attain a level of due respect so vital to co-existence. We must talk to each other by listening.

Politics, the force that truly divides because it is essentially about power and control, and must be left out of the equation for a meeting ground. I dare say, that religion too, must be put aside as it has similar pursuits of herding the masses to blindly follow. Faith must be in ourselves and each other, rather than an authoritative body. This is not anarchy, but preservation rooted in the belief that all individuals have worth, value, and self-determination to find peace in their lives.

The core of our problems of division stems from a simple, but complex facet that we all possess, that of the ego. It is the drive of self-righteousness that dooms us to fail, because we fear that the other side will prevail, in what operates as an ongoing tug-of-war battle that perpetuates. We must open our eyes, and especially open our hearts, to see and feel that deep sense of human compassion that exists within. Disarming the ego brings greater awareness.

Finding common ground is possible with an honest commitment to seeking a peace where no hierarchies of superiority or caste exist. Let us explore a meeting place in which we can agree. I believe family is at our core. It something in which we can all relate. All cultures revolve around the family component. The family of humanity is greatest when supported by this realization, sustained by the diversity of cultural wealth brought into this larger family.

I do believe our common purpose is to help one another, thus assisting ourselves in this manner. We have only to gain by being receptive to our neighbors near and far. It is the ego that is the barrier. It is far better to be happy than right, and it is something that takes practice. See this and let it go.

I have several friends who are clear conservatives where I am not, but we manage to meet each other for discussions over lunch and drinks. We do not solve all of the problems of the world, but we can enjoy one another’s company and touch our common ground of humanity in the process.

I think the point is not to attempt to convert anyone over to the side we are aligned with, but to confirm the validity of other views in respecting the voice by listening. This is common ground at its foundation. It is possible that we may build upon this with deeper and richer relationships without contempt. Let’s talk to each other and park our egos at the door.

Stephan Brigidi

Highland Rd.


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Jim McGaw

A lifelong Portsmouth resident, Jim graduated from Portsmouth High School in 1982 and earned a journalism degree from the University of Rhode Island in 1986. He's worked two different stints at East Bay Newspapers, for a total of 18 years with the company so far. When not running all over town bringing you the news from Portsmouth, Jim listens to lots and lots and lots of music, watches obscure silent films from the '20s and usually has three books going at once. He also loves to cook crazy New Orleans dishes for his wife of 25 years, Michelle, and their two sons, Jake and Max.