What is it with these “illegal immigrants” in the news? I mean, sneaking across the border is a crime, but is the guilty person himself considered a crime? So a human being can actually be considered “illegal?” If so, then let’s get our language in order.

Yesterday I watched an illegal pedestrian crossing where there was no crosswalk. Not proud to admit it, I was an illegal driver a couple of years ago and a policeman cited me for speeding. And have you heard about these illegal taxpayers, cheating the government by fudging on their 1040? 

A neighbor wanted to put a Howitzer cannon in his front yard, but they told him it would make him an illegal gun owner (you can’t even defend yourself these days). Around here you’ll get fined if you’re an unlicensed  illegal fisherman. And they throw the book at illegal hunters if they’re on posted land. Worst of all, the President-elect wants illegal shoppers to be shot!

Juries will now be instructed to find the defendant either innocent or illegal. Makes sense, I guess.  Let’s get with the latest Newspeak.

Ron Marsh

Tiverton