It’s like abuse victims. Yes, many of them go on in life and are successful. Yes, they’re resilient. But it does’t mean that the abuse didn’t happen.”

Rebeccca DiStefano

Jeff and Rebecca “Becky” DiStefano have two children. Their daughter is a sophomore at East Providence High School; their son in a seventh-grader at Martin Middle School.

Before joining the parents’ mask lawsuit, the DiStefanos became advocates for their children. They wrote letters, met with school officials and attended school committee meetings.

“Our children are 13 and 15. We’ve talked to them about this. We’ve asked them how they feel about it. We talk a lot about mental health in our house, and the mental health aspects of the masks … One of the things we’ve said to the schools is, stop normalizing this. This is not normal. This is abnormal. That has been one of my biggest frustrations, that they’re trying to act like wearing a mask is a normal thing.”

An obsession with masks

The DiStefanos say their children have suffered more mentally than physically.

“Yes, this has bothered our children, even more so this year than last. There’s just a constant obsession with the masks. There’s a constant anxiety about the masks. We want our children to have normal school experiences,” said Becky. “Especially in middle school and high school, when it’s hard enough already. You’re trying to figure out who you are, who you want to socialize with, and it’s a hindrance to everything you do … We want them to have normalcy, but they don’t get a break from this. It’s constant. The fear is being pumped in all the time — ‘cover your face, cover your face.’

She was even more blunt: “They hate the masks. A lot of kids hate the mask. They know this is not a normal way to live … But they don’t question it, because they don’t think anyone is going to support them.”

Rebecca is a graduate student and a writer. Jeff is a middle school teacher in a Massachusetts school district, where he gets an inside look at the mask climate every day. He said he’s seen many instances where teachers yell at students to pull their masks up, to keep their faces covered.

“The kids absolutely hate the mask,” Jeff said. “The problem is, it’s the only way they can be in school with their friends.”

Becky, too, has seen the masking environment up close, when she worked as a substitute teacher last year. “The obsession with the masks is mind-boggling,” she said. “It’s like it’s the number one priority in the schools.”

Little kids are scared

She subbed in a kindergarten classroom and said the environment is difficult to process. “It is so wrong. These little kids want to smile, they want to be close together, to be to you. They’re scared, and they’re constantly being pumped with fear; they’re being filled with fear.”

Becky continued: “Of course kids are resilient, but it doesn’t mean they’re not being harmed. These are little people who are going through a lot, and they don’t know how to communicate it … It’s like abuse victims. Yes, many of them go on in life and are successful. Yes, they’re resilient. But it does’t mean that the abuse didn’t happen.”

Becky said they want all families to have a choice about the masks. “I’m not going to tell a parent about what’s best for their child. Don’t tell me about what’s best for my child,” she said.

Jeff also wants mask-wearing to be a parental choice. “We don’t co-parent with the government,” he said. “We’re doing everything we can as parents, and as citizens, to do what’s right for all of these kids, who deserve someone to stand up for them.”

Editor's note: We understand some readers will react strongly to this and related stories. Why did we spotlight this case and the people behind it? We think the case is noteworthy for several reasons: a) the potential impact on a policy affecting more than 150,000 people (students and teachers); b) the fact that a Rhode Island court found credible evidence of "irreparable harm"; c) the fact that both sides have appealed the same ruling (this is unusual); and d) because this case has received relatively little publicity thus far. We chose to spotlight four of the families involved in the case so that readers can learn more about who is behind the case — to know some of the people who are paying out of their own pockets to sue their governor and government. Lastly,  please know that we do not share their stories to celebrate them or lift them up. We make no judgment on their opinions. We are simply sharing their words; take from them what you will.