Pen pals became ‘sisters separated by an ocean’

Pen pals who met nearly 50 years ago as teenagers, reflect on their lifelong bond

By Kristen Ray
Posted 9/12/19

She was standing alone in the streets of Paris, more than 3,000 miles from her Bristol home. Except Tammy Medeiros was not really unaccompanied, not truly. Finally, right in front of her, was the …

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Pen pals became ‘sisters separated by an ocean’

Pen pals who met nearly 50 years ago as teenagers, reflect on their lifelong bond

Posted

She was standing alone in the streets of Paris, more than 3,000 miles from her Bristol home. Except Tammy Medeiros was not really unaccompanied, not truly. Finally, right in front of her, was the woman she had been writing to for decades; a person she had never met, but whose handwriting she knew like her own — her German pen-pal and friend for more than 40 years, Ingrid Rissiek.

“Sisters,” Ms. Medeiros said, “separated by an ocean.”

‘Kindred spirits’

The letter arrived on Ms. Rissiek’s 13th birthday, back in 1970.

It was the first of many that came after Ms. Medeiros’s initial response to the “Jetsetter Pen Pal Special” of her ’TEEN magazine. Though the pairing had been random, the two teenagers immediately hit it off.

Land-locked in her northern German farming community of Alverdissen, Ms. Rissiek was intrigued by Ms. Medeiros’s life by the water, while Ms. Medeiros was fascinated to hear about Ms. Rissiek’s travels throughout Europe. They sent pages and pages of notes to one another, filled with their interests and updates, their lists of their current favorite things.

“We just shared our lives with each other,” said Ms. Medeiros.

They kept in touch regularly; a few times a year, Ms. Medeiros would come home to her mother happily reporting that a letter from Ms. Rissiek had just arrived; while Ms. Rissiek would comment that Ms. Medeiros’s replies helped to “brighten up her drab life.” They became a part of one another’s families; Ms. Medeiros’s mother considered Ms. Rissiek a daughter, while a blue snowsuit Ms. Medeiros had sent for Ms. Rissiek’s son has since been passed down through the generations. 

As they got older, they realized they had more in common still, from liking the same books to practicing yoga, to being in agreement with their spirituality. They were ‘kindred spirits,’ as Ms. Medeiros put it. Yet as the years went by, it also became harder to stay in touch as frequently. Time would sometimes get away from them as they got wrapped up in their own affairs — births, moves, divorces. Still, each was confident that those lapses were only temporary, that their friendship would easily survive those brief moments of drought.

“There was never a feeling of ‘oh, it’s over,’ ” shared Ms. Rissiek.

In fact, those letters were just the beginning.

Together at last

As the years passed and the letters still came, the conversation about one day meeting in person routinely would routinely come up. And yet, decades went by with the two women managing no better than a phone call.

“It always seemed like a wistful longing,” Ms. Medeiros said.

Finally, in 2016, the pair found a way to make it happen, starting with that “emotional” rendezvous in Paris. It was during that trip that Ms. Rissiek presented Ms. Medeiros with all of the letters she had saved, a “living diary” of the memories they had shared. Even after all that time, however, there were still new things to discover about one another, like how Ms. Rissiek smoked and that Ms. Medeiros did not eat meat.

Since then, Ms. Rissiek has visited Bristol twice, most recently earlier this June. Ms. Medeiros has played the role of tour guide, taking her pen pal to see Blithewold Mansion and Colt State Park, to Newport and Jamestown. She has also given Ms. Rissiek glimpses into her own daily life, introducing her to her friends or having her help make table arrangements for a graduation party. No matter the activity, Ms. Rissiek is just grateful to get to spend it with her longtime friend.

“Every day is very perfect, very special,” she said.

Eventually, Ms. Rissiek would like to return the favor and host Ms. Medeiros in her own country as just one of the several trips they have loosely planned. They have visions of jetting down to Florida, of traveling throughout Europe. While they may not know where they will meet next, they do know it will be soon; next year will be the 50th anniversary of their friendship, and two promised one another they will reunite.

It’s a promise made between sisters, one they intend to keep.

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A lifelong Portsmouth resident, Jim graduated from Portsmouth High School in 1982 and earned a journalism degree from the University of Rhode Island in 1986. He's worked two different stints at East Bay Newspapers, for a total of 18 years with the company so far. When not running all over town bringing you the news from Portsmouth, Jim listens to lots and lots and lots of music, watches obscure silent films from the '20s and usually has three books going at once. He also loves to cook crazy New Orleans dishes for his wife of 25 years, Michelle, and their two sons, Jake and Max.