Following the one-time cancellation of Drag Queen Story Hour at Roger’s Free, the Bristol Democratic Town Committee issued a statement asserting that “[t]he library’s decision does not accurately reflect the values of the majority of Bristol’s residents”: a bold claim when the hubbub over its cancellation is the first many residents heard about the event, since reinstated.

Clearly, there’s been a breakdown in communication. If public institutions are to reflect us accurately, we dutiful citizens should know beforehand what values to endorse on behalf of our representatives.

But at least they’re not neglecting to instruct the next crop of voters! Touting the benefit of events like Drag Hour to GoLocalProv, Democratic Town Committee member (and successful protest organizer) Lisa Peterson avowed that “children need to be exposed to a diverse range of individuals;” and fortunately, there’s a diverse range of individuals willing to expose themselves to children.

Blank slates are prime real estate for progressives whose bright ideas often can’t be promulgated readily by persuasion. Still, the flamboyant sexuality of a nightclub entertainer (i.e. a drag queen) is a questionable match to youth outreach. To engage the sprouts on International Women’s Day, the library wouldn’t invite gyrators from the Foxy Lady to read “Hop on Pop,” even while garnished by their most opaque costumes.

“So what if it’s a man in a dress?” some might say; “It’s what’s underneath that counts! Reach out and embrace diversity!”

I can wear a wig and a pair of stockings to Roger’s Free, if that guarantees support from the committee as passionate as theirs for Drag Hour, to read the tots passages from Rush Limbaugh’s children’s series on American history, “Rush Revere.” Failing that, readings in the kiddie corner will continue to drum the party line — diversity, inclusivity, and fatuity — with boring, treacly stories which have the same impact upon the human imagination as micturition upon a campfire.

“Julian is a Mermaid,” a staple of these Drag Hours — about a black Latino boy who dabbles in female impersonation after ogling three biddies on a subway dressed as manatees — ticks off all the right boxes that leave diversity hucksters drooling and was even featured during the “Black Lives Matter at School Week of Action” in D.C. (which should raise eyebrows here in Bristol).

Forget all these self-esteem steroids authored by hacks and pushed by propagandists; do the brats one better with Oscar Wilde’s “The Remarkable Rocket” as a cautionary tale against thinking too highly of yourself!

Of course, the whippersnappers will survive the wisdom of their elders; the question, rather, is whether the library — or any cultural center — can survive another random act of diversity. Far from our strength, diversity is an autoimmune disease which makes the desertion of American interests for antagonism towards them a political virtue, and weaponizes against our way of life the same institutions once entrusted with its preservation and affirmation.

When Roger’s Free reopens as a reeducation camp, I’ll happily take the purged copies: a green alternative to book burning!

Zachary A. Cooper
Bristol