To the editor:

Now, I'm not one to gossip so you didn't hear it from me but there's a dirty little secret lurking in the shadows of the fair town of Barrington that needs to be brought out into the light of day. I have it on very good authority, i.e. first hand experience, that residents can secretly pay trash collectors to take away stuff that shouldn't be taken away at all according to law, stuff like demolition debris.  

Now, I don't mind a favor or two but when I think about the effort I make to comply with requirements for my uncollected trash, the trips I made to the recycling center, and the taxes I pay with no kids ever in school, I think the trash collectors should consider my "tip" already paid. 

But no, I've been told several times to put $20 in an envelope and hand it to them or even tape it to the can for collection of things that would otherwise be left behind, like a big old metal cabinet I had to lug to the recycling center. Isn't that nice.

Now, it doesn't stop there. I've noticed that the trash receptacles are flung up the driveways of the "tippers" while mine end up in the neighbor's yard if not down the street. Gee, I wonder how much that cost.

Now, in the spirit of the holidays be sure to gift your trash collectors. Yes, if you value that special relationship you've received all year don't forget the season of giving if you're planning to remodel the kitchen or bath. It's worth it, sweetie, dumpsters aren't cheap. Slowly and systematically, discretely box it up, watch it go. 

Now remember, I'm not one to gossip so you didn't hear it from me, but all you hard working, honest people out there could save a lot of time, effort, and money. "When in Rome" as they say. When I ask around I'm amazed by the number of people who are aware of this practice.

Watch what happens to my trash now, it's never going to be taken away. This is a town world famous for its fascist-like retaliation against a private individual. 

Alan Sorrentino

Barrington