Selena Tatlock Howard, 88

A community pillar, a consummate entertainer, a woman of indomitable will and spirit

Posted 7/6/18

Selena Tatlock Howard, 88, beloved matriarch, died Friday evening the 29th of June in Newport, R.I., after a battle with pneumonia.

Born on Valentine’s Day in 1930 in northern New Jersey, …

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Selena Tatlock Howard, 88

A community pillar, a consummate entertainer, a woman of indomitable will and spirit

Posted

Selena Tatlock Howard, 88, beloved matriarch, died Friday evening the 29th of June in Newport, R.I., after a battle with pneumonia.

Born on Valentine’s Day in 1930 in northern New Jersey, Selena was the oldest of four girls. After losing her mother at age 14, Selena began a long legacy of taking on responsibilities beyond her years. At 19, she met James Merriam Howard, Jr., a widowed teacher, and soon left college to become his wife and mother to his 5-year-old son, Jerry.

At 24, now with two more children, Alida and Mollie, Selena moved with Jim to Blair Academy, an independent boarding school in New Jersey, where he had been named Headmaster. Selena fulfilled the role of Headmaster’s wife with grace and aplomb, serving as a mother figure to the then-all-boys campus and as the heart and soul of campus social life.

During their tenure at Blair, she and Jim shepherded the school through financial tumult, integration, and co-education, with their two youngest daughters, Mollie and Eleanor, graduating among the first classes to include young women.

After 22 years at Blair, Selena and Jim embarked on a new chapter, settling in Westport, Mass. After receiving her B.A. from Rutgers in 1977, Selena became managing partner of a popular store in Westport, and took on an active role in local social justice work, including the Westport River Defense Fund and Habitat for Humanity. She retired from the store in 1992 to devote her energies full-time to family, traveling, social justice, and her passion for gardening.

Selena’s later years were characterized not only by her deep engagement in the Westport community, but also by a remarkable grace and fortitude in the face of challenges. Shortly after Jim died in 2002, Selena became legally blind, but continued to serve on town boards and committees, travel avidly, and pursue continuing education coursework.

In 2013, Selena suffered a stroke, leaving her paralyzed on the right side, and eventually left Westport to live in an assisted living home in Portsmouth, R.I. There, she continued to maintain her ever-full social calendar and further develop her deep interest in philanthropy.

Selena was predeceased by her husband and by two of her children, James Merriam Howard III (Jerry) and Mary (Mollie) Conklin.

She is survived by two daughters, Alida Howard Woods and Eleanor Howard, nine grandchildren, and five great-grandchildren. She will be remembered by all who knew her as a community pillar, a consummate entertainer, and a woman of indomitable will and spirit.

A service celebrating Selena’s life and legacy will be held at Westport Point United Methodist Church in Westport, Mass., at 2 p.m. on Sunday, July 15.

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