'Act on aspirations,' Portsmouth Abbey grads told at graduation

95 receive diplomas in commencement exercises Sunday

Jim McGaw
Posted 5/29/16

PORTSMOUTH — Graduating seniors at Portsmouth Abbey Sunday were told to “act on your aspirations, not their fears,” when they choose their own path in life.

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'Act on aspirations,' Portsmouth Abbey grads told at graduation

95 receive diplomas in commencement exercises Sunday

Posted

PORTSMOUTH — Graduating seniors at Portsmouth Abbey Sunday were told to “act on your aspirations, not their fears,” when they choose their own path in life.

Commencement speaker Conor Boham, a member of the Abbey’s Class of 1986, found that out for himself on his way to founding the Haitian Education and Leadership Program (HELP), that country’s largest university scholarship program. 

“The important thing is to find something that really excites you, because that is your single-best chance of ‘doing something and being something in the world,’” Mr. Boham told 95 graduates at outdoor commencement exercised Sunday. 

Mr. Boham was quoting G. Stanley Hall (1836-1924), a pioneering American psychologist and educator who became president of Clark University and founded the American Psychological Association. 

Mr. Boham pointed out that Mr. Hall, who came from a rural farming village, resisted his parents’ wishes that he become a minister. After abandoning his theology degree, he took classes in philosophy, physics and physiology and later earned the first PhD in psychology ever awarded in the United States — at the age of 32.

In 1904, after years of studying the period between childhood and adulthood, Mr. Hall published an influential book identifying a new life-stage: adolescence.

“Hall made significant and permanent contributions to our country and to mankind,” said Mr. Boham. “But we would likely have never benefitted from his work if he had been forced to follow the path that was expected, by his parents, his peers and society.”

Mr. Hall’s life path somewhat resembled his own, Mr. Boham said. After taking a year off after the Abbey, he enrolled at Brown University and took classes in everything from philosophy to Italian physics and middle-eastern art.

“But the classes I found most interesting were in history, so I made it my major,” he said, noting that many people’s reaction was, “History? What are you going to do with that?”

Found calling overseas

After graduating he traveled, working in France and Italy for two years before running out of money and returning home. His time in Europe sparked an interest in developing countries, however. He tried to volunteer with the Red Cross in Africa, but was told only “doctors and water pump engineers” were needed. 

“I hung up the phone, deflated,” he called. “My parents had spent countless thousands of dollars for the Abbey and college and I couldn’t even volunteer with the Red Cross in Africa.”

He considered law school as his parents had suggested, but then remembered photos he had seen in a Providence church while he was at Brown. “They were of a free high school in Haiti for children who had done well in grade school but couldn’t afford to continue their education,” he said.

He arrived at the school in 1996 and later founded HELP, which he said has more than 100 alumni and 175 straight-A students in university. Its graduate rate is double the national average, and nearly all graduates obtain employment, said Mr. Boham, noting that only 1 percent of Haitian students enroll in university.

“I want you to think about that,” he said. “There are 95 of you in this class. If this was Haiti, one of you would go to college.”

None of the improvements that HELP made would have been possible, he said, if he hadn’t “bummed around” Europe for two years. While there, he learned to speak two languages fluently and discovered how to fend for himself, which taught him how to deal with immense challenges later on. 

“Bumming around turned out to be serious cross-training,” he said, advising graduates to make the most of their “luxury of time.”

It’s unlikely that the graduating seniors have already found a subject that interests them the most, Mr. Boham said. “So I would urge you to, like Stan and perhaps against the well-intentioned wished of you parents, explore all of your interests in college and continue to explore after college, and don’t be afraid to change what you’re doing if you realize that there is something you are more interested in,” he said.

Valedictorians speak

In her lighthearted address, Claire Flowers Davidson, one of the Abbey’s two senior valedictorians, say goodbye to the Class of 2016 with words of wisdom, including:

• “No matter what anyone tells you, writing an entire research paper in one night is very possible.”

• “Wearing bow ties and Lily Pulitzer are fundamentally advantageous to the happiness and success of the individual.”

• “Always remember to tell the Portsmouth police officers that you’re an Abbey student if you get pulled over; they’ll let you off with a warning every time.”

The other valedictorian, Andrew Brandt Matthews, likened his classmates’ time at the Abbey to the perfect ice cream cone: “Delicious, but never meant to last forever. Trying to accomplish that will only leave you sad with sticky hands.”

Andrew said he came to the Abbey as a “lanky 15-year-old with a Justin Bieber haircut and an odd penchant for staring out of the corner of my eye.” He “survived” at the Abbey, he said, thanks to the support of the school community.

“The Abbey is such a welcoming environment that I’ve felt myself become progressively weirder with each year thanks to this place, and I know I’m not the only one,” he said. “No one reads a book by Sigmund Freud or watches the video of that eastern European woman give birth and walks away the same person. And of course, you can’t live across the hall from Austin Rooney for a full year without learning how to properly react to a Sasquatch call.”

Andrew ended his speech not with a quote or a lesson, but with a haiku constructed from the titles of Drake albums: “Nothing was the same/What a time to be alive/Take care.”

Headmaster’s address

In his address, Abbey Headmaster Daniel McDonough advised seniors to always schedule “chill time” in their lives in order to recharge their batteries. 

“What do so many of the successful young people in today’s business and tech world know that makes them intentionally limit their screen time at regular intervals even though they may be using it intensely and continuously the rest of the time?” Mr. McDonough asked. “Second question: Is it possible the Benedictines have known something for the last 1,500 years which is constantly being rediscovered?”

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