WARREN - The first rule in the Red Hat Society is there are no rules. Since February, Warren has hosted its own chapter of the increasingly popular organization of and for women over 50 who get together to do, in essence, whatever they choose. The Warren group calls itself, "The Brimmers."
"Because we're out on the brim, out on the edge, falling off most of the time," said Barbara Frerichs amid laughter from fellow members Cecile Kaiser and Roz Januario, who gathered at Frerichs Farms last week to talk about the group. Ms Frerichs and her husband own the farm on Kinnicutt Avenue where Ms. Kaiser is employed and Ms. Januario volunteers.
Ms. Frerichs started the local chapter of the Red Hat Society, now a national organization that began several years ago for the purpose of gathering together women of a certain age who haven't forgotten how to have fun. The basic idea is to get together, forget responsibility for an evening and find time to enjoy life.
Women in the group wear red hats and purple dresses, a tradition inspired by a poem about a woman who decided she would do as she pleased as she grew older. Ms. Frerichs had heard of the Red Hat Society and decided to check out the details after getting a group of women together to knit. Originally, many of the women who were invited to join the society worked at the farm, helping with the spring transplanting.
"We all wanted to make those skinny scarves together. And then I thought it would be fun for us; there are no rules or regulations. On the last Friday of every month we meet at somebody's house. It's the only time we see each other, catch up on news, we share the laughter and the tears. Does that sound like a Hallmark card?" Ms. Frerichs added, to more laughter.
The members, who now number nine, vary the activities for their times together. Sometimes they just knit, other times they go out to dinner. Some are from Warren, others from nearby towns.
Last Friday evening, however, the women met in a garden on Barton Avenue, Swansea, for a garden tour. First they walked around the transformed acres of the Boulder Cottage Gardens, marveling at the innovative use of plants, wooden seats and gazebos, and a post and beam "swing shed." Several women climbed onto the swings, and learned that a rope with the handle on the end caused the swings to move.
"Oh, this moves us, oh, get out of town!" said Pat Guilda-Salisbury with a laugh.
The women also crowded into a picturesque outhouse to check out the interior. The outhouse was wooden outside, with a rather unusual interior. Michael Carter, who created and runs Boulder Cottage Gardens with Roger Dextradeur, explained why they built the outhouse whose creation was more for its architectural and historic interest than for actual use.
"I grew up in Maine. Everybody had a two-seater outhouse, so we built one. It has porcelain fixtures, lace curtains, running water, with a 10-inch azalea pot for a sink," he said.
For most in the local Red Hat Society, friendship and connections made at Frerichs Farms formed the bonds that hold the group together. That's how Mr. Carter also became acquainted with the group.
"We became friends because of 20 yards of cow manure," said Mr. Carter, who created the gardens at Boulder Cottage from an overgrown area once filled with briers, bamboo and poison ivy. He had negotiated with Frerichs Farms for a supply of the natural fertilizer.
"It had rained the day before. Every time we hit a bump the manure would squirt out like 40 feet because there was a hole in the truck," he recalled.
Time for themselves
After traipsing over several acres of garden paths and walking around a small fish pond, the red-hatted ladies drove to Bay Point Road in Swansea to a garden set on the edge of Mt. Hope Bay. Virginia Waring met the women as they pulled into her semicircle driveway. Ms. Waring and Ms. Frerichs knew each other from their membership in a garden club, a friendship that led to an invitation to tour her yard blooming with hundreds of different flowers near the bay.
But the red hats posed a problem.
"Hold onto your hats," said one society member as the group walked down the path where the wind was a force to be reckoned with. Red hats in hand, the women talked about the rose hip jelly Ms. Waring had made from the wild roses near the water. They passed around sprigs from a bushy plant called "Sweet Annie," a plant with a lovely scent. The group marveled at the gardens before they headed out to dinner to top off the evening.
"We have a lot of fun when we get together," said member Cheryl Cetola. "We have a lot of laughs. We talk about our families, our jobs, our husbands — and we often knit at the same time."
The Brimmers decided to keep their group small. Members are Ms. Cetola, Ms. Frerichs, Ms. Kaiser, Ms. Guida-Salisbury, Ms. Januario, Sheila Vargas, Jen LaFrance, Loretta Borges and Elizabeth Mace.
Presently this group is the only Red Hat Society chapter in Warren, although there are now several in Bristol. The idea is contagious. The Brimmers decided to build a float to feature their group in Bristol's Fourth of July parade two months ago. Mr. Frerichs designed a float that used a gazebo and a large amount of chicken wire and red material to form a giant hat. The ladies stood or sat on the float, waving to all the parade-goers — while rain pelted down and their "dry clean only" purple dresses took some damage from the incessant fall of water, an occurrence they handled with good humor. Since their appearance in the parade, three Red Hat groups have sprung up in Bristol, Ms. Frerichs said.
While there are no rules in a Red Hat Society group, there are some traditions. With every correspondence sent to fellow Red Hatters, a red feather is as essential as the notepaper.
"The feather means to have fun and not take life too seriously," explained Ms. Frerichs. "I think with everything going on in the world, we all need to get together with the girls and forget about everything for a while."
'Warning'
A poem by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman
I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.
Poem provided by "The Brimmers," the Red Hat Society of Warren
What is the Red Hat Society?
The beginning: The Red Hat society began when "a few women decided to greet middle age with verve, humor and élan," part of the group's stated mission. Several years ago, Sue Ellen Cooper decided to buy a bright red fedora at a thrift shop just because it was inexpensive and she liked it. A year or two later she read the poem, "Warning," by Jenny Joseph and related to the sentiments in the poem. She decided to give a red hat and a copy of the poem to a friend on her birthday, and then eventually several more friends. These friends then decided to go out to tea wearing their red hats and purple dresses as suggested in the poem, forming an informal "Red Hat Society." The idea took off with other friends and grew, and they began to encourage other people to start their own chapters to make it simpler to fit around a tea table. One of the members passed along the idea to a friend in Florida and the first "sibling" group took off.
Society rules: There are no rules or bylaws. Each chapter comes up with its own structure according to the whims of its members. The founder of the group generally calls herself the "Queen Mother," a tradition established when Ms. Cooper decided to call herself the "Queen Mother" for the fun of it. Other members are welcome to come up with their own titles.
Publicity: In July of 2000 the fledgling society was featured in a "Romantic Homes" magazine and the society started fielding inquiries about starting new chapters and eventually set up an office to handle the incoming requests. The organization now handles many requests for new chapters every year.
Mission: The Red Hat Society calls itself a "disorganization in which we can all connect and eventually take over the world."
More info: Interested in more information? Go to www.redhatsociety.com
By Cindy VanSchalkwyk
Contributing Writer