100 Years Ago in Warren: You can’t mail a goat, kid!

100 Years Ago in Warren: You can’t mail a goat, kid!


Sounds safe. Radium, in addition to being a poisonous radioactive element, is also good at removing corns. This ad ran in the Warren and Barrington Gazette this week 100 years ago.
Taken from the pages of the Warren and Barrington Gazette this week in March 1913:

Moo-ving violation

All records for novel methods of transportation were eclipsed recently by the achievement of Mrs. M.C. Lamoreaux, when she brought Lily, her blooded Jersey cow, from Lake Minnetonka to her town house in a limousine. When Lily went to the Lamoreaux lake home she made the journey on foot. When the family decided to return recently the cow “had to come along.” She was hoisted into the limousine. Lily, misunderstanding the purpose of her caretakers, rebelled against entering the car. She kicked a little varnish from the machine, but in she went. Then Lily decided she wanted to get out. This conflicted with the ideas of her attendants, so she was tied.

If not a limo, then the mail?

The limitations of the parcel post system are not yet understood by everybody. You may send babies adn bees, but, as one postal worker puts it, “I’ll be darned if you can send a goat!” The clerk was busily at work in the office when W.A. Renner, a resident of the Hatfield section, walked in, leading a full grown Billy by the horns and asked for parcel post stamps to send the animal to a consignee. Amazed, the clerk explained that bees were the only live stock he could send or was permitted to receive for shipment and as a glorious afterthought hurriedly added, “You can’t send anything that weighs more than eleven pounds anyhow.”

Who needs dental school?

From an ad: “Wanted: A boy for office work, good wages; short hours — and above all a chance to learn mechanical dentistry. Inquire at the office of Dr. John Denby, Main street, Warren.”