12/15/08 03:41PM | 658 views
Little do-gooders
Lean holiday season presents a perfect opportunity to teach children the value of giving, rather than receiving
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BRISTOL — The kids know they’re doing some good, even if they can’t always pronounce what it is.

Last week at Colt Andrews Elementary School in Bristol, 5-year-old Penelope Warden was working on a pasta tree — dried bow-tie noodles, wagon wheels and macaroni glued to a paper cone — before it was to be spray-painted silver or gold and given to a local nursing home as a holiday centerpiece.

“We’re doing it for commun ... communi ... Oh, I can’t even say it!” an exasperated Penelope said.

Community service is what she was talking about, and these COZ (Child Opportunity Zone) kids are doing plenty of it during the Bristol Warren Regional School District’s before- and after-school program.

At another table inside the school’s gymnasium, Brendan Moreira, 9, and Patrick Ott, 8, were unwrapping Hershey’s kisses that will be used in cookies. “They’re for soup kitchens, nursing homes — stuff like that,” said Brendan, adding that he loves community service. “It’s great to help people — and we can smell the food!”

Patrick said he likes to help out at home, too, although one time things didn’t work out so well. “I helped my mom with the vacuum, but it kind of broke because I accidentally ran it over a wire and it sparked,” he said.

The next table over, Rebeccah Trefethen — “9 and three-quarters” — was helping Paul Graham, 5, make a Christmas card. Paul was struggling to get started, so Rebeccah prodded him on: “Do you want to write ‘Happy Holidays?’ That’s right — then an A, a P, another P and a Y.”

Rebeccah was sporting a pink Tinkerbell shirt with the phrase, “The world revolves around me.” That certainly wasn’t the case on this particular day, however. “The cards are for the soldiers who are in Iraq and in the hospital,” said Rebeccah.

Although the COZ program was originally intended as merely a day care service for working parents, “we’re trying to put a different face on it,” said Tricia Brissette, program manager. “We’re trying to be known as the COZ Community Service Program.”

Last month students made homemade pies, cookies and Thanksgiving centerpieces and then delivered them to the Good Neighbors Soup Kitchen at St. Michael’s Church, where they shared the treats for a Thanksgiving dinner. The youngsters also got a tour of the soup kitchen — they donate to it on a regular basis — and learned how it assists the less fortunate.

The slumping economy could mean a leaner holiday season for many families, especially those with kids who may not understand why there aren’t as many presents under the tree. A local child development expert, however, said parents can turn the situation into a learning opportunity about the importance of giving, rather than receiving.

“I think that it’s a great opportunity for families to really think about what they want to emphasize this holiday season and making it a more meaningful Christmas,” said C. Sloan Alday, a child psychologist at Bradley Hospital in East Providence and an assistant clinical professor at Brown School of Medicine.

When people think about their most memorable Christmas memories, she said, it’s usually about spending time together and not about getting a particular gift. “It’s a great time to start new traditions such as helping at a soup kitchen” or other community service, said Dr. Alday.

Her own son, who’s 7, enjoys accompanying her to the Salvation Army when she drops things off. “He kind of gets the idea that it’s going to families who don’t really have anything,” she said.

Children can usually understand the value of giving or taking part in community service as early as age 4 or 5, she said. “This is a great time of year to talk to kids about donating their old toys. There are a lot of kids who don’t always get them,” she said.

Many opportunities to help

The Volunteer Center of Rhode Island (www.vcri.org) offers many “family friendly” opportunities, where young children can work with their parent or guardian, according to spokeswoman Lindsay Wilkes-Edrington. “They usually include the more typical volunteer opportunities, like community cleanups, toy drives, visits to senior centers and work with animals,” she said.

For example, St. Elizabeth Manor-East Bay in Bristol invites families in to help care for the home’s many animals, while Child and Family Services in Newport welcomes families to serve as friendly visitors to homebound elderly, she said. Most agencies with volunteer opportunities prefer that children are at least 5 years old, said Ms. Wilkes-Edrington.

Last month, 14 Rhode Island agencies hosted special projects that drew about 200 volunteers for VCRI’s Family Volunteer Day, an annual event. “The families I spoke to really appreciated the opportunity to bring their children out into the community for meaningful work,” said Ms. Wilkes-Edrington.

The family that helps together

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Among the participating families were the Felags from Barrington, who worked at the Audubon Society’s Bristol center. Mark and Adela Felag brought their kids — Nick (15), Elizabeth (13), Jack (11) and Kate (8) — along with Adela’s mother Elizabeth Chauvin and their nephew and niece, A.J. and Tory Chauvin.

“They made ladies gift baskets for the Audubon volunteers and made crafts,” said Mr. Felag.

The Felag children routinely put aside a portion of their allowance for charity and have gotten involved in other community service projects such as donating gifts for needy families at Christmas and taking part in the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life.

“We try to do what we can to have them realize that there are other people who are less fortunate,” said Mr. Felag, who remembers the time his oldest son — then 6 or 7 — told him he wanted to start a lemonade stand and give the profits to the poor.

Even when they’re on vacation, the Felags are often helping others. The family took trips to Peru in 2004 and 2007 and spent a couple of days each working at a senior center in Lima. The project was arranged by Mr. Felag’s brother-in-law’s partner and roommate, Enrique Bossio, who is Peru’s country director of Cross Cultural Solutions, a volunteer organization.

“That was really amazing,” said Mr. Felag. “It was in a poor area and it was an eye-opener for them to see how people live.”

Their children’s busy schedules preclude them from doing as much community service as they’d like.

“But we try to do what we can,” said Mr. Felag, whose family’s dinner conversations often touch upon issues of benevolence. “Parenting’s always a difficult task, and they’re getting to the age where everything involves them. You try to keep this message going that there are other people who are worse off.”

Many younger volunteers help out at Tap-In, a Barrington organization that collects food, clothes and household items for families in need, according to Jane Ryan, co-president. Although the pantry is open only during school hours (9 a.m. to noon, Monday through Friday), children help out with special projects, such as the annual drive to collect donated toys for families in need at Christmas, she said.

“We’ve had several young people under the age of 15 volunteering to wrap presents and stock shelves,” said Ms. Ryan.

The nonprofit, located underneath the town’s library on County Road, will take all the help it can get this year. More than 200 families registered this year for assistance, the most the pantry has ever seen, said Ms. Ryan.

Fun while helping

The Bristol/Warren COZ serves students in kindergarten through grade 5 in four different schools, but the community service projects have been so successful that the district is now piloting a middle school program.

Since the COZ program starting sinking its teeth into community service last year, Ms. Brissette said behavioral issues have diminished because children are staying focused on projects that help other people.

“We’ve been trying to give the older kids some ownership of the program, to decide what’s doable and what’s not. We’re seeing real leadership quality emerge,” she said.

And, kids being kids, they’re also having fun. Last week, 5-year-old Paul Graham had a keen eye on the cone-shaped pasta tree he was working on.

“I want to wear my tree,” he said.

Liam Harnett, also 5 and sitting directly across from his buddy, was aghast. “You can’t! It’s not a party hat,” said Liam.

Paul was unswayed.

“It looks like a party hat!”

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