NEWPORT — Here are a few things that have happened to Joe Caruso since he found out he had cancer six days before Christmas: The 42-year-old husband and father of three has learned more about chemotherapy, radiation, cell mutation and the odds than he ever wanted. He’s left his job as a manager at Newport Grand, a weird thing in itself since he’d never taken a sick day before this year. He’s stored his surfboards in the basement, hoping he’ll get to ride Ruggles or Second Beach again. He’s had hard talks with his wife Linda about the future. And he has found out how many friends he has.

Mr. Caruso is fighting for his life, but he’s not facing cancer alone. In the month that has passed since word of his diagnosis started spreading through the tight-knit surfing community in and around Aquidneck Island, Mr. Caruso, his wife Linda and their three children — Mason, 4, Tyler, 2, and Noah, 1 — have been on the receiving end of love so overwhelming they still can’t believe it. It’s unexpected and, to Mr. Caruso, one of the incredibly bright spots in a tough situation.

“Let alone my own personal will to live, I have so much else to live for,” he said last week, trying to convince Mason to drink a cup of hot cocoa without spilling it on the kitchen table or linoleum floor.

“I feel like I have a whole community pushing me and praying for me. It’s inspiring and that really keeps me hopeful.”

Friends and strangers have organized a series of fund-raisers, the first of which will be held this Sunday (see story below on how you can help). They’ve set up a dinner delivery network so the Carusos won’t have to deal with cooking every night. They’ve donated a laptop computer, a video camera, even a refrigerator to replace the Carusos’ old one, which was so stuffed with donated food that the door wouldn’t close. A non-profit foundation and fund has been established at Bank Newport, and nearly 800 people have joined a Facebook page created by friends. Free milk delivery, dry cleaning, well-wishes from strangers ... the support builds every day.

“We all believe that he’ll beat it,” said surfing buddy Mitch Turner, one of several friends to help organize coordinated support for the family. “He’s young and strong. The issue now is they have three very young kids, and they need help. That’s what we’re trying to do.”

What happened?

On the Carusos’ kitchen wall hangs a stoneware plaque with a short saying that seems to sum up their lives these days:

“Near the sea, we never forget to count the days.”

That saying took on a new meaning during the latter half of 2009. Mr. Caruso doesn’t smoke. Prior to his illness he ran often, tried to eat healthily and was a hard-core surfer, a passion he picked up after moving to Newport to work in the service industry in the 1990s. He surfs year round but started cutting back after the summer when a persistent, nagging pain in his lower back started giving him problems. For months, he shrugged it off.

“I figured I was getting older, and I get aches and pains,” he said. “No big deal.”

But it didn’t get better, so in November he went to see a doctor, who recommended he get an MRI to take a look at his spine. Mr. Caruso balked at the $900 out-of-pocket expense, even though he’s insured at work, and decided to take his chances with physical therapy instead. It didn’t help.

The pain continued to get worse until Saturday, Dec. 19, when it became so bad that he admitted himself to the hospital to get that MRI. After the scan he went home and waited for the results to come in. It didn’t take long. A phone call the same day gave some clue to the gravity of the situation:

“Get yourself in now,” the voice said.

Mr. Caruso got an ambulance ride from Newport to Rhode Island Hospital in Providence, where he was told that the MRI had shown lesions on his spine, and a spinal fracture. Further tests revealed cancer not just on the spine but in his liver and a lung. It was Stage IV, or advanced, cancer, the doctors said. His prognosis is uncertain, but the cancer is well along.

“Once we found out that it was Stage IV, I spent a whole five minutes going, ‘Why me? Why me?,’” he said. “But then it quickly changed to, ‘Let’s fight it.’ I was never one to feel pity for myself. We just knew we needed to fight it.”

Radiation treatment started just a few days later. Chemotherapy starts later this week.

Mobilizing

His friends started hearing about Joe’s troubles right around the holiday.

“I got a call on Christmas day from a friend,” said Mr. Turner. “They said they’d heard through the grapevine that he was sick. It just floored me, really. He’s such a great guy, and he always had a smile on his face. I couldn’t believe it. We knew he needed help.”

Nikki Vazquez also found out around that time. She knows the Carusos not just through mutual friends but also from the Twice as Nice pre-school at the Middletown YMCA; her son attends with one Joe’s children.

In the early days following Joe’s diagnosis she created a Facebook page, The Linda and Joe Caruso Family Fund, and helped establish a fund for the family at Bank Newport. It didn’t take much convincing on her, or Mitch’s, part to get others involved. By last Friday, Jan. 8, when 15 volunteer friends met at the YMCA to go over the status of fund-raising efforts and what needs to be done, the word had spread from one side of island to the other, and beyond.

“It’s just blown me away,” said Mitch. “It gives me additional faith in humanity when you see how people have pulled together. They ran out of freezer space, so they get a new fridge. People have been dropping stuff by everyday; every time they open the door there’s stuff on the doorstep. It’s incredible.”

One of the most incredible days was Saturday, Jan. 9. He was on his way to pick up a donated computer from a mutual friend when on a lark he stopped at Flint Audio Video in Middletown to see if they’d give him a deal on a video camera. He figured the Carusos could use one to record their moments together.

“I was speaking to (owner Gary Gagne), I told him the story and said I want a camera. He said, ‘Give me a few minutes,’ and he comes back out with a camera, batteries, tapes, everything and says, ‘Here you go.’”

He couldn’t believe his luck as he drove away from Flint, camera in hand, to pick up the laptop. He expected to get a used one, but when he showed up the friend handed over a brand new wide-screen Dell.

Just a few days later, Flint crews came out to the Carusos’ apartment and connected a router and modem to get the computer connected to the Internet. It was first time the family had been online since they had kids, and they plan to use the laptop to keep in touch with friends and family as Joe’s treatment progresses.

Keeping spirits up

Back at the apartment, the Carusos keep their spirits up by laughing and spending as much time together as possible. Friends and family drop by often with food, laughs, encouragement and love. The extent of the support has been overwhelming, they both agree, albeit a bit strange.

“It’s weird, but it shows how much support people want to give,” said Mrs. Caruso. “It’s weird to be on the receiving end, we’ve been on the other end before but this is different.”

When the friends leave, though, the two have serious conversations about what could happen in the coming months. The kids are young and don’t really know what’s going on, but they need support just as much as Joe or Linda.

“Linda and I talk, and obviously we have some heartfelt conversations at night, and they (the boys) might someday be without a dad. But they have a whole community watching out for them. And that brings so much peace of mind, you know?”

Doctors haven’t been able to tell Joe exactly what will happen with chemo, or whether his cancer will respond. There are so many factors that influence the treatment, he said, that it’s impossible to know what to expect.

“The doctors don’t know,” he said. “They can tell you statistics, they can tell you what could happen, but you don’t know.”

At least he won’t have to worry about the home front while he’s battling illness, he said. Being able to concentrate solely on his health, and not have to worry about everything else, will make it immeasurably easier not just for him but for Linda and the boys too.

“It sometimes feels unreal but I’ve always been one to adapt. I kind of go with the flow, and this is the way the flow is going right now,” he said.

“I have 600 reasons to be thankful.”

How you can help

It takes a lot of love to fight cancer, and the Carusos need as much as they can get. If you want to get involved, here’s how:

Make a donation: If you want to help the Caruso family out financially, a non-profit foundation has been founded and an account has been opened in Newport. Send monetary donations for Joe and the support of his wife Linda and sons Mason, Tyler and Noah directly to:

The Linda and Joe Caruso Family Fund, Bank Newport, 10 Washington Square, Newport, RI 02840

Help out with life: Gas cards will come in handy as Linda drives Joe back and forth to the hospital for chemotherapy. Also in demand? Diapers. Either can be dropped off at the Newport This Week office, 86 Broadway. Donations to offset the cost of the Carusos’ Munroe Dairy account can be sent to Munroe Dairy, 151 North Brow St., East Providence, RI, 02914, attn. Linda Caruso account.

Attend an event: Many fund-raisers are planned for the coming months. They include:

• Sunday, Jan. 24: A spaghetti dinner fund-raiser at the Back Room Pub, 999 West Main Road, Middletown, begins at 4 p.m. with an additional seating at 6 p.m. Tickets are $10 each. To purchase tickets for the 4 p.m. seating, contact Shannon D’Eramo at the Newport County YMCA pre-school (841-5357) or Becky DeDonto at Aquidneck Medical (787-5184). For tickets to the 6 p.m. seating, contact John Dlubac (330-0710). The event includes not just dinner but raffles, prizes, games, music and more. Dinner and the space was donated by the Back Room Pub, Katrina’s Bakery is providing desserts and Newport Tent donated tables and chairs. Try to purchase tickets beforehand as the event could sell out.

• Saturday, Jan. 30: Proceeds from this year’s annual Clean Ocean Access fund-raiser at Easton’s Pub (starts at 8 p.m.) will go solely to the Caruso family. Tickets are $20 and are available at Easton’s Point restaurant, 116 Aquidneck Ave., Middletown.

• Sunday, Feb. 7: Super Bowl party fund-raiser at Benjamin’s Pub, Thames Street, Newport. Details to follow on the Carusos’ Facebook page, “The Linda and Joe Caruso Family Fund.”

• Thursday, Feb. 18: Pelham fund-raiser; again, details will follow on Facebook.

• Sunday, Feb. 28: Silent auction fund-raiser at the Hyatt, Newport. See Facebook for more information.

Stay in touch The best way to stay in touch and get involved is to join the Carusos’ Facebook page. On www.facebook.com, search for “The Linda and Joe Caruso Family Fund.” Once the page opens, become a fan and you’ll be kept abreast of fund-raisers, events and more. Also, a website, www.joecarusofamilyfund.com will be launched soon.