Are you kidding? How transparent is this complaint and suspension?

If the coach wants to gather some people at his house to grieve, then it is his choice who is invited. If others are not invited, they should grieve within their circle of friends. This "soccer mom" (parden the pun) mentality is what's ruining the youth of this country. Nothing is earned, everything is an entitlement, and let's not keep score so no one's feelings are hurt.

She had no basis to complain to the head coach about what coaches and/or players are doing off the field as long as it is not against team/school policies or the law, which this clearly did not violate.

If his suspension was due to his loss of control and resulting swearing at a parent, I understand that. But, shame on her for baiting him, and sticking her nose where it didn't belong in the first place.

Just imagine, she was voted to br on a commitee which determines the direction in which the schools in the community go.

Yet, her inablility to a) understand that he was not required to invite each and every former team member of this child, and, b) that her complaining to the head coach was further out of line and inappropriate makes me wonder if she is qualified to be on the school commitee.

Quite honestly, she comes off as a gossipy-type lady who feels entitled, and will boss someone around if she isn't getting her way.

I certainly don't want someone with such poor judgement making decisions on my behalf.

Not entirely sure I'd want my adolescent daughter at the assistant coach's house no matter what the reason. She should be thankful her daughter wasn't invited. Someone who loses their cool over something so trivial and screams obscenities is not someone she should aspire to have keeping company with her impressionable child.

response to bigdaddy

My problem is that this woman chose to go to the head coach about a matter that has nothing to do with coaching. It was a personal choice on On mr. dasilva's part after hours on his own time. That makes it none of Ms. Lynchs business not does it give her the right to throw her positions around which is obvious by her going to the coach with this issue in the first place.

As for Mr. DaSilva Don't know the man and you may be right he may be a hot head. I also agree he should not have acted in the way he did either but since there is no punishment you can give to both of them like the suspension it was wrong. A repremand should have been given Mr. DaSilva And a repremand given to Ms. Lynch for discussing the after school personal activities by Mr. Dasilva for no reason she could possibly justify.

I would add that it shows a character flaw in both of them the coach for not restraining his language in public and Ms. Lynch forgetting she is a public official and should never give the perseption of intimidating another official I.E. the head coach to disipline the Asst. Coach. This hardly a role model for a public official or a coach. Both are guilty of stupidy of letting their personal feelings get the best of them.This is my opinion of what happened here.

Jack

P.S. To Bristolyte

Dont know what your trying to insinuate there. but if its what I think it has no place being said in this situation it appears it was a home memorial service for the loss of a loved friend.

Jack

Her actions are transparent.

Her sole purpose was to use her position as a commitee member to voice her opinion on a subject which was none of her business. She was complaining about a non-team related action. What next, complain he eats at Burger King, not McDonalds?

Her comment:

"Kids were upset because they didn’t have the right to grieve,”

is a crock. No one denied them the right to grieve. They can grieve wherever and whenever they want.

Looks like some parents hit a nerve (and were probably spot on):

"Ms. Lynch said the fight had nothing to do with her daughter’s playing time, as has been alleged by mothers of other players, and she said she filed the complaint as a parent, not a school committee member. "

I'd be willing to wager otherwise...but wagering is not appropriate with the soccer mom's. Just sticking their noses in the wrong place is. I hope her child never aspires to play college sports. The coach would tell her where to stick her nose..the shove the kid down the far end of the bench.

The head coach should have nipped it in the bud in the first thirty seconds..."sorry, but this is not team related...so, the conversation is over". But, she was given more time than appropriate because of her position....of which she took full advantage.

Her judgement is questionable, her actions are reprehensible, and her argument is indefensible.

...and what is you agenda wayback? It's obvious, spitefully toned and reprehensible.

...but I'm not a public official.

so you say...sounds like you are admitting to an agenda...the makings of a slander suit in my opinion.

listen carefully....can you hear me shaking?

What a laugh. Slander for what....saying she was out of line? Yeah, That'll hold up. In fact, your name calling of DaSilva is a more likely slander. lol

Your basis for an agenda....let's see, I don't know her. I don't know the coach. I don't even live in Bristol or Warren. Or Rhode Island for that matter. Yup, you got the makings of a winner there. Go at it.

But, I can't stand parents thinking they are so big they should approach a coach with issue about playing time, no matter how veiled they may be.

Feel free to call your lawyer. I'm sure you keep him on retainer. lol

I was there watching the boys game. Coach DaSilva did not swear once and was provoked by this woman who screamed at him for not inviting his daughter to his house. How about picking up the phone and telling him how sorry she is that he lost a player he has coached since she was five. How about asking if you or your daughter can do anything to honor Victoria. This woman should not be representing our school district.

It's too bad that everything in this town is about politics and who you know. My daughter is being bullied at the kickemuit middle school and no one will do anything about it because I don't know the right people!!! Know the right people and they will bow at your feet.......Ridiculous!!!!!!!!

I was there. Coach DaSilva did not swear at Mrs. Lynch. Coach DaSilva is an unstanding coach and this is very unfair to have this happen to him. Does she get suspended for fighting?

alfor10 I hear your issue, nobody at the school admin will do anything, take your complaint and file a hearing request to the school committe, then if thats does not provide satisfiction take it to the board of ED. maybe when there are enough complaints filed somebody will listen that the school admin is not doing their jobs.

And here's a little more Truth. The DaSilva's should be COMMENDED for how they stepped up to help the girls that played with Victoria during one of the darkest weeks of their lives. I hope this sheds a little Light on the subject.

Here we go again.. Typical "Who knows who" Bristol politics.

Also Mrs. Lynch stated many times throughout the season that she was upset that her daughter was not a starter for the team. She blamed Coach DaSilva for that. She seems to be out to ruin his coaching career because her daughter isn't seen as the number one player on the team. At least she has her daughter.

For those of you that claim to have been there and claim there was no use of expletives, you're as deaf as you are ignorant.

This woman had an issue to discuss with the team's head coach. She was conducting herself as a concerned parent, not as a School Board member. She and that coach were discussing the issue calmly and rationally, when the assistant coach intruded on that conversation and became loud, abusive and belligerent. It was uncalled for and unwarranted. And if that was not enough, his wife then accosted Ms. Lynch and likewise berated her. The conduct of both of them was reprehensible, but, unfortunately, in keeping with the manner in which they have conducted themselves in soccer/coaching circumstances in the past.

The fact that Ms. Lynch is a member of the School Board had nothing to do with this confrontation. Should she be prohibited from addressing a coach on behalf of her child simply because she is a member?

The one game suspension is tantamount to a slap on the wrist for this outrageous behavoir! The principal and the School Board (with Ms. Lynch recusing herself from any proceedings) should permanently bar him from further participation. There is no place in children's athletics for this type of behavior. Coaches should be role models, not negative examples of how not to conduct youself.

There actually is another aspect to this and that is Lynches daughter who will now because of her mothers acts suffer untold harrassment by team mates and students since that is what children do. What a shame this mother has no foresight to relize that a public display such as this is going to very cruel to her daughter.

From all that has been said it really does appear to be a case of lynch trying to go after this asst. coach for personal reasons.

That is the worst kind of corruption a public official can do, it demeans herself and family and damages her child for no other reason then ms. lynches own personal views which are obviously far from noble actions of a mother.

Jack

Mrs. Lynch by the posting goin on here I think you need to be suspended!

All too often, people who want a position want it because they have a vested interest (i.e. child involved in sports, or the school, or whatever). The problem arises when they don't have the self-control to remove their personal side from the business side. Too many parents get involved in coaching at the youth level so they can protect little John/Jane as a "star-wannabe", or involved in school affairs to make sure John/Jane gets every possible advantage. Based on sheer lack of applicants, they may be the best available suitor for the position. But, once, that lack of self-control is evident, they prove why the should not hold the poistion.

[QUOTE]ReasonedResponse says: The fact that Ms. Lynch is a member of the School Board had nothing to do with this confrontation. Should she be prohibited from addressing a coach on behalf of her child simply because she is a member?[QUOTE]

No but because she is a part of the school board people are doing something about it. If any other parent had this "confrontation" with this coach do you think anyone would care?? I think NOT!

ReasonedResponse,

Are you actually Mrs. Lynch? If not were you there? Now whoever this is, is accusing the wife of something.... WOW! I just want to know how she filed her complaint on Wednesday when the problem happened after school hours. Only person who could do that is someone who knows WHO to call. An average parent could do know such thing. Just like I posted earlier, her hatred toward Coach DaSilva runs deep. Totally a personal matter, she wants him banned forever. Will she be thrown off the school Committee for her bad behavior? And yes Mrs. Lynch you should have spoken to the coach somewhere else. That is what any other parent would have done with such a personal matter. She wanted people to see it. Thats what I think

Oh and School Committees members should be role models too. Don't ya think?

Alfor10, You hit it right on the head. No one would care. And we would not be discussing it right now.

I agree Alfor10 the poster "ReasonedResponse" Excuse for ms.lynch is way off base she had no right and was way out of line discussing a personal matter about the asst. coach on something that had nothing to do with the game at hand or the business of who is inviter to a memorial service at ones personal home.

If anyone thinks she was not trying to use her official position in this matter they are ones with deaf ears and ignorant in my opinion it is blantly obvious since as she states in the story her discussion with the head coach concerned the asst. coach personal actions off field not inviting her daughter.

I am not aware of any rule that gives a head coach the authority to control the personal life of the asst. coach when he is not coaching. If anyone can explain to me how she has the right to talk to a head coach about a personal view and axe to grind against the asst. coach on personal matters off the field and in his own home I'd love to hear it.

Would anyone here approve of someone seeing you at a reasturant and eating meat then having a vegitarian board member go to the chairman and discuss it with him or her. I think not because it is petty,stupid and plainly none of your business.

This is the problem with all politicians of late rather than doing their job representing the interest of the people they represent their own personal interest and abuse their authority by using their position to futher their own personal agenda period. This is quite obvious in this case to any person with common sense.

Jack

seems like an example of someone who doesn't have the guts to confront the person she has obvious "other" issues with and instead tries to use someone else she has authority over (head coach) to send the message for her..... she should keep her nose out of issues that don't pertain to her and go hide back under the rock where she belongs.

This is quite the lynch mob..pun intended.

It seems the "public figure" isn't allowed a fair shake due to that simple fact. A simple argument for simpletons...

I was there at Coach DaSilva house everyday from Monday when we heard of Victoria passing through Saturday. My daughter is a member of the Colts soccer team and has been for 4 years. I feel I must set the record straight. The DaSilva's opened their home all week long to whom ever in the Bristol Soccer (BYSA) family need to grieve. It started with a call to each player's family on the team that Victoria was currently playing with. No one was excluded, no one turned away. Coach and his wife provided a safe, warm and

caring environment for these teammates/friends/past teammates and their family members to grieve. I will forever be in their debt for the love and compassion they showed to my daughter that week. Coach DaSilva is a passionate soccer coach and although I have not always agreed with him at times, I would clearly say the best coach we have had the pleasure to have coach both of our children. What was done to him and the girls KMS soccer team by Mrs Lynch is unforgivable. She should be removed from the school committee. It is my understanding that she violated the Parent Code of Conduct, why is there no mention of this? As a parent and a standing member

of the School Committee she should have known better. Her actions were selfish. She did not think of her daughter or her daughters KMS team members and how this would affect them hours before a playoff game. Shame on her. All she had to do was call the DaSilva's or stop by the DaSilva's home with her daughter anytime time that week. She would have been greeted with open arms. But no she was waiting for an engraved invitation. I'm sorry we didn't think to reach out, we were dealing with the loss of a 12 year old girl.

Jack-

Not an insinuation at all-my personal opinion as a parent of a daughter who was the victim of a sexual predator teacher in the Bristol Warren School system many years ago and as a nurse well acquainted with the Child Safe Clinic. Not a fan of cozy relationships between children and teachers, coaches, scout leaders, etc. It is a sad world we live in Jack but it is a reality. 99% of the time it may be fine but for those who become victims, it is devastating. Social boundaries need to be maintained. My siblings and I never went to our teachers or coaches homes-that was unheard of. I lost friends and classmates along the way and grieved with my parents and friends. It sounds like this woman may have been using her position to influence the head coach but this DaSilva character sounds like a charmer also. If he cared so much about helping these girls grieve why didn't he include all her teammates instead of a select few? It is his house and he can do what he wants but when you play favorites and make divisive choices expect the fallout. Either they are a team or they are not. They way to avoid this whole issue would have been for proper social boundaries maintained. I am convinced that this could have been done in a more appropriate manner. The articles states that Ms. Lynch says Mr. DaSilva was screaming and using expletives. Since he was disciplined I am going to guess there was some truth to that. It doesn't matter what she was talking about, his reaction was out of line and inexcusable. He lacks self-control and that is absolute necessity when having authority over children. (ala Ms. Borgia) Besides if the Head Coach felt Ms. Lynch was out of line are you all saying that he was too stupid or inept to deal with her? I am sure he really appreciated Coach DaSilva's fine assitance in handling the matter-I'll bet it just made his night dealing with two such wonderful people.

DearR bristolyte:

This coach and family has not crossed any social boundaries. His home was open to the players and the parents during the grieve of a 12 year old girl. Most of us parents in attendence. He has coached most of the these players for many years. This soccer team is a family for you to mention or think aloud otherwise is unfair and untrue.

bigdadyy, your defense of a meddling parent indicates that you simply don't get it (which simply places the simpleton moniker back on you...oh! my...that's slanderous).

She had nothing to complain about (the statement "they didn't have the right to grieve" is baseless because no one denied them their right). Her daughter may not have been given an invitation on a silver platter....big fricken deal...get over it and do your own thing.

She took her "nothing to complain about" to somebody who should have told her she nothing to complain about. There were nothing in violation of the law, morals, ethics or team policy. Whatever feeling of her's that were hurt for not being invited (if that was the case) had nothing to do with the team or the head coach. It was an off-field, private situation. Period!

The more I think about it, the head coach should have controlled the situation. That she was given more face time than she deserved is likely out of understanding of her percieved position/authority. Which she prompty took to the next level once the coach took her bait.

She thought she was slick and getting her way to get revenge on the coach for her daughter's perceived insufficient playing time. I would only hope it backfires on her.

Simply too many assumptions on your part...

I wasn't there and I'm not defending either party unlike you and many others...however ourtrageous aggressive behavior has no place in a setting meant to educate children...PLAIN AND SIMPLE

The rest is debatable but with facts, real facts, not self-serving statements, half-truths and misinformation...

Last time I checked dp (although probably not for much longer) this is a democracy and I am entitled to the same freedom of speech and personal opinion that you are. You do not have to agree with me nor I with you but you cannot tell me what to "mention" or "think aloud". I prefaced my remarks that they are my own opinion and based on my experience. You think it will never will happen to your child-well neither did I. The teacher that victimized my daughter was very respected and well liked and involved in other civic organizations (and still is I might add) and just like you are doing there were massive amounts of people defending him. I don't care how nice and kind a person is, the true test of character come when you face adversity and neither of these individuals handled it in a way that was honorable.

Oh and by the way, she was told by parent from the team to call the DaSilvas or just go over. It was NOT by invitation. She just expected everyone to stop their grieving and think of her. Talk about selfish. She needs to resign.

Coach Dasilva is my coach for the colts and was also my KMS coach. I have had many coaches over the years and i have have to tell you hes the best coach i have ever had. For any of you to say bad things about him is just wrong he treats us with respect and treats my teammates and me like a second family. What Mrs Lynch did to him is out of jealousy and anger that she had no right to do that before our playoff game. We found out that Coach Dasilva would not be on our sidelines right before the game started. I will do everything i can to help Coach Dasilva and i know my teammates will do the same.

It's people like Lyncy, that keep good coach's away. I coached baseball and basketball to many of Bristol's Youth. The only reason I stopped coaching...The Parents...I understand that everyone should play. However, competiton is part of life. Even when the child is 12 year's old and up, they must learn, at that age is that you are on your own if you want playing time. I had parent's tell me their kid should play. They say he/she goes to every practice, do not miss a game, he/she should play. Well,they are wrong. Starting spots should be earned...I nearly soiled myself when I found out POP WARNER football actually has people keeping track of how many plays a child has played...and make sure all get in the game. So much for trying to win...lets see, we need a 1st down, but let me put in a player who does not deserve to be in this situation into the game in. How fair is that to the whole team who is trying to win...IT'S NOT...

Sorry for my rant....but parents need to layoff the coaches and just plain old SHUT - UP and stop living your dreams thru your child.

ps...Coach DaSilva like all coaches should be commended for their time and effort. Coaching takes alot of time... and I tip my cap to these dedicated people.....MRS. LYNCH....BOO FOR YOU!!!

connect the dots. they all lead back to her daughter not getting the playing time that this soccer mom believed she deserved and felt that she was being disrespected based on her self believed high ranking position....

Dylan sang "You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows...".

he was wrong. He never met some people. lol

bristolyte...you missed my point. Your comments regarding Coach DaSilva were wrong and hurtful. The girls were all together every night making a scrapbook of memories to give their teammate, Victoria with alot of adult supervision. Coach was not charming anyone, we were all grieving. I am sorry for the pain that you have experienced. No child should ever have to deal with that. All I am saying is that situation is not and has never been anything but appropriate and with the present situation I do not want anyone to get anymore misinformation regarding this Coach. It is not fair to the team or the coach and his family.

This story is pathetic in the context of the bigger picture on so many levels. As a parent of a child/player on this team, who watched a coach divide a team on the field, I felt outraged, but decided better to say nothing and try to explain to my child what was transpiring privately. He can invite whoever he wants to his house, but when he takes a vote on who can display on their uniform a tribute, yes, this moron took a vote to see if the "other players" could also have a number 8 on their uniform, the game previous to the one the idiot was thrown out of, think about that for a minute....he's so far over the line, he's either incredibly ignorant or mean, take your pick...In any event, both adults acted badly, but when someone hurts your child as he did, emotional outbursts are not suprising. The pettiness in light of the bigger event is mind boggling, to say the least. The parents of the players who fell in line with the coach should be ashamed of themselves for ignoring the entire team. Forgive us all for this incredible insensitivity at a time of this family's loss.

respone to bristolyte

You have a very dangerous view of life and this situation and you did insinuate something that I will not even say like i said last time you have no right to do that it is hurtfull to the people and family you said it about. You need to rethink your opinions on those matters it is not something to take lightly by anyone especially a person you claim to be and what you have gone through.

I would hope you learned that well evil is alive and well everywhere one should not assume anything like that ever as you did because of a simple gathering which others have said included parents also for a whole week. So I suggest you think before posting a statement like that and will assume you did it in the heat of the moment. Please refrain from those type of post about anybody they can destroy a persons life literally. There was nothing in this article or in a single post that made any reference to anything you are paranoid about think about that.

Jack

Lifelongresident,

It was the parents ideas for the 8's on the uniform. Our coaches had nothing to do with it. There was not a vote. We all discussed how everyone should be included. You as a parent would have no idea what happened in a private "huddle" with our coach. I would because I was there.

Please stop saying nasty things about my coach. I already lost a friend I don't need these horrible things said about my coach.

Parents caused the divide. Not the coaches. Parents who are jealous because they think their children are soccer stars.

REMEMBER THERE IS NO I IN TEAM! Leave him alone

And lifelongresident, let me tell you about pain. Your child doesn't know pain or she would feel awful for the loss of a child. Not that she didn't get to wear an 8 on her uniform.

warren and soon to be bristol teachers take note... you better be giving her little soccer star good grades and inviting her into any special study groups or you will be next to catch the wrath of the self percieved important ranking official

There is (or should be) a very distinct line between running for office and SERVING AS A PUBLIC OFFICIAL - unfortunately, many of our elected representatives never learn the differance.

It is always seems difficult for some in our community to perceive that being entrusted with the authority of being a public official precludes your right coffee shop/market/back yard talk. Everything you say or do 'in public' carries the wieght of your office!

PS: I still don't like you Speak Out if anyone can post a comment without taking responsibility for what they say by signing their name!

response to BillEstrella

Come on Bill that would prove that the speakout column would no longer be a place for crank calls then they go back to calling our houses. LOL

Jack

Response to BillEstrella

Oh I agree with your post but I doubt politicians or appoined bearocrats will ever learn that less, the thrill of power they think they have precludes them from rational thought. and that my friend is no joke, It is howevern a damn shame.

Jack

The more days go by on this story the more and more it appears Lynch should resign, At first I thought well both are just as guilty for letting their tempers get the best of them. This seems to be looking like a clear case of intimidation by Lynch to use her influence as a beaurocrat for personal reasons.

Well I believe in second chances public servants have to be held to a higher standard and the fact that this whole fiasco is over who is going to grieve where over the sad and untimely death of a beautiful young girl who has gone much much to soon border on dispicable.

Think about what this is over and what you have done Ms. Lynch.

To Mr. Dasilva and the School commitee why dont you all get together in a room and smack each other in the face then shake hands go out and appologize to the town and children. Tell them that sometimes adults act like idiots but when it does happen they should discuss the differences in private and come to a compromise. We are very sorry for being so callous and uncaring of those who are suppose to look up to us, as role models we are held to a higher standard and are both sorry along with the Commitee for not using common sense.

After all isnt this what is a huge problem in society today no-one taking blame for thier actions. Children being taught you can get anything is you have parents in a position of authority, Coaches who cant hold their tempers no matter how provoked shows children its ok to fly off the handle, Mothers and fathers who do the same thing. I know its hard and no-one can be perfect I know I and everyone has done something like this in their life as an adult. But how bout we try and teach these children that saying your sorry and shaking hands has not been lost and life may not be fair but someone allways should take the higher road.

Jack

One thing I would add is there is no doubt in my mind this is creating a very bad situation for all these children involved as they all im sure are picking sides as children often do. Please stop this and talk to them before they start hurting each other physically and make no mistake that will happen.

Jack

How conveniently most of the posters ignore the fact that DaSilva was the one disciplined and the fact that he is just as incapable of following chain of command and observing proprieties as Ms. Lynch. Jack and dp I am not insinuating anything. I have stated my opinion that I would not want my adolescent daughter at any coaches' or teachers' homes outside the boundaries of their professional relationship for ANY reason and that is my perogative as a parent. It is not a "dangerous" point of view and I am not paranoid. My siblings and I grew up with those boundaries in place and we never had the circus that is being played out in this town and on this board, which as you have pointed out Jack, is extremely injurious to the children involved. I have also said it doesn't matter how nice and great all these people say he is, the true test of character comes when you face adversity and neither one of these people handled it honorably-and neither one was thinking about the kids or this would have never taken place. Ms. Lynch filed a complaint and since Head Coach Raposa was present during the "situation" I am certain that he was consulted regarding the incident and the result was that DaSilva was disciplined-so everyone can howl all they want. The other curious factor is if in fact he had not done anything wrong (ie played favorites, made decisions that pit team members against each other) then what the heck was he so worried about? Once again his actions betray him-he should have kept his mouth shut and let Coach Raposa handle the situation. He wasn't too concerned about the team when he made a spectacle of himself. Me thinks thou dost protest too much. (Shakespeare) I agree with you Jack that someone should take the high road but it is quite a stretch to expect that from two individuals who clearly lack self-control and humility.

Response to bristolyte

Actually in the end we both agree they are both in the wrong and it never ashouls have happened in the first place. As I have said I have no idea who Dasilva is or anything about him. My point all along has been that this is damaging to the children in the whole school system. And that is why Lynch should have had a better handle on herself .

Then to try and discuss something with the head coach at a game that has to do with her view on something that happened after school and not on school property. That is what makes it so obvious that she was trying to influence the head coach to do something. The head coach also should have immeaditly informed here that he did not want to hear it and would be glad to discuss it in private.

They are all at fault and this all is rediculous in my opinion. With the children this will continue for the rest of the school year now and beyond i'm sure. Lynchs daughter will have to live with this for a long time all because her mother couldn't control her personal feelings. Mr. Dasilva has a mark on his record as a coach that should not be there for this since it never should have happened.

This would not have happened if Lynch kept her mouth shut and used more intelligence in handling a matter she perseived to exclude her daughter. She had to know airing a personal matter like this to the head coach at a game was wrong. She admits it was the topic she was talking to the coach about. No other reason then to try and get revenge on mr. Dasilva or why do it this way.

I believe she did it this way because she new if she brought it up at a board meeting cooler heads would have told her, look that is a personal matter between you and Mr. Dasilva we cannot even discuss that since it did not happen on school grounds and was not an after school function.

So all in all this is just a story of 2 individuals who dont know when to keep their mouths shut and a head coach who should have difussed the situation immeadiatly with lynch by telling her not here not now i'm sorry see me after the game. And then he should have told her the same thing I said the commitee should have told her.

I'm willing to bet that in the by-laws of the commitee there is a passage about the perseption of a commitee member violating thier position to futher any personal actions. And I believe that is what started all this period. Do I expect her to take the high road nope not on your life though,

I wish she as a public official would. That is the right way and they should both say their sorry to each other at a public commitee meeting and then put this petty little story to rest. This reminds me of the stupid actions by from the 4th of July parade guy thinking he was incharge of the world. same senario but better out come and quicker and reasonable response.

Jack

Response to bristolyte

Thank you for a civil and responsible debate on the issue it was a pleasure to keep it factual and free of name calling or other vile comments as happens here occasionally.

Jack

This was a deplorable and despicable action on the part of Ms Lynch. She started this ball rolling by making comments that could be overheard by the person she was complaining about. As someone with an official position she very well should have known better. Then, after the person shes complaining about overhears her comments and loses his temper she files a complaint against him!

How low can you get, a little girl is dead and the kids that have been grieving about it have to witness this behavior as well as losing one of their coaches for a game for something that would not have happened if this person, Ms lynch, had used common general decency and kept her mouth shut. Isn't it possible that the reason for not formally being invited, as this seems to be the reason for her anger, is because of her poor attitude and the last thing this guy wanted at his house was someone like this.

As far as whether or not children should be visiting teachers or coaches outside of school grounds, far more children have been abused by priests, sunday school teachers and others that don't go through the vetting process that teachers and coaches go through. To restrict children based on the assumption it will protect them from these people is naive. Children should be protected from any bad behavior, but telling them that any coach or teacher is off limits except for school grounds only will only breed paranoia and false accusations. Only in an open society can these people be exposed, by shuttering yourself and your children you do more harm than good.

It is unfortunat that bad people exist and I wouldn't wish harm on anyone. This Ms Lynch needs a firm reprimand of her own and probably should resign as it is obvious she has a serious bias against this coach for some deeper reason.

More people have come out in defense of Mr Desilva than Ms Lynch, that should make the difference as far as this incident is concerned. I sympathise with the parents of Victoria Sousa, to have something like this add to their grief is absolutely shameful and Ms Lynch carries the blame for that shame.

jaqdadi-

I don't know where you get your information from:

"far more children have been abused by priests, sunday school teachers and others that don't go through the vetting process that teachers and coaches go through" In nearly all states Sunday school teachers and youth leaders and anyone involved with children have to go through an extensive state and federal background check. In Mass it's called a CORI. Actually the most common perpetrator is a family member. These statistics are from the CPIU website, the point being it is much more common than you think and has nothing to do with this particular situation-I am using the information only support my position as a parent. Truthfully there have been very few opportunities for my children to be invited to teachers and coaches homes and the couple of times it did happen, my children clearly weren't unhappy when I said they couldn't go. There are many compelling reasons I feel this way-avoiding inappropriate conduct is only one. I want my children to respect and obey their teachers and that is much easier when they see them as an authority figure not their "buddy". I understand this situation pertained to some special circumstances but as you can see no good came of it and it could have been avoided.

•The Statistics of Teacher sexual abuse to Students

•The best estimate is that 15% of students will be sexually abused by a member of the school staff during their school career.

•Though, when the American Association of University Women Foundation surveyed more than 1,600 students in eighth through 11th grade, 25 percent of the girls and 10 percent of the boys who said they had been harassed or abused said the harasser was a school employee.

•The number of K-12 public and private school students in 1996 who have been or will be sexually abused by a member of the school staff is nearly 7 million of 51,331,000.

•Between 1% and 5% of teachers sexually abuse or harass students.

•At least a quarter of all school districts in the United States have dealt with a case of staff sexual abuse in the past ten years.

•Most cases of sexual abuse of students by teachers are never reported.

•In nearly half of the cases, suspects were accused of abusing more than one student.

•Only two cases were cases of false accusations; less than 1 percent of the cases studied.

•No type of school was immune to abuse: public or private, religious or secular, rich or poor, urban or rural.

•Responses to Allegations of Sexual Abuse of Students by Staff

•38.7% of the teachers resigned, left the district, or retired

•17.5% were spoken to informally

•15% were terminated or not re-hired

•11.3% received a formal verbal or written reprimand

•8.1% were suspended and then resumed teaching

•7.5% were cases where the superintendent determined that the teacher hadn’t meant to sexually abuse

•Of the nearly 54% of abusers who resigned, weren’t rehired, retired, or were terminated, superintendents reported that 16% were teaching in other schools and that they didn’t know what had happened to the other 84%. All but 1% of these teachers retained their teaching license.

Jack-

I appreciate your kind comments. Debate is healthy and should be conducted with civility. When I see name calling and some of the infantile antics on this board it certainly does not convince me or anyone else that their opinion is correct or valid-quite the opposite I assure you.

response to champ08

Amen to that. Thee End.

Jack

The news article is about a coach’s suspension, and has nothing to do with if it ok to let kids go to coach’s homes or not. We have really gotten off subject. This is the problem with allowing anyone to post comments without knowing the facts. You have people making comments that were not there and are basing their opinions on hearsay or comments that they read.

Here are the facts;

1. I was at the boy’s playoff game, standing between the bleachers and practice field.

The Boys team was playing their game on the soccer field. The girls had practiced on the practice field adjacent to the game.

2. Ms. Lynch approached the Head coach after the girl’s practice was over. The girls had played their playoff game the day before and their next game wasn’t until the following week.

3. Mr. DaSilva overheard something and got in on the conversation and this is when the shouting started.

4. The Athletic Director and Head coach were there, standing between them trying to calm things down.

5. It was Mr. DaSilva that had lost control and was in her face yelling and screaming. And yes swears were used and his wife did enter into the argument briefly.

6. When they were finally separated, Mr. DaSilva went to the bleacher area and Ms. Lynch was still talking with the Athletic Director. I would assume that this is when she filed the complaint. (She did not need to go through any channels.)

I don’t know what Ms. Lynch said and I am sure that with the recent death of a player on his team, Mr. DaSilva was quite upset. The Athletic Director and Head Coach can verify whatever was said and if further punishments are required for either person involved, the Superintendent should hand them out.

It is quite simple, the reason for his suspension was his outburst and behavior on school property in front of many parents and students. Had he walked away at anytime before things got out of hand, there would not have been a suspension.

You can say Ms. Lynch started things by going to the Head coach with this issue, but to blame her for his Suspension is ridiculous. The parents should explain to all the players that no matter how upset the coach was, he should not have handled this the way he did and that because of his behavior he was suspended. It would be a good teaching point on taking responsibility for ones own actions.

And he should be reprimanded for his outburst, however, she used her position to act as if she had the right to complain about something she should have known better to leave alone or bring up in private. If you want to complain about someone you don't do it right in front of them and then blame them for getting angry. There is no question that they both were wrong, she was definetly far more wrong. I am sure the stress of what had transpired over the last couple of weeks was at the forefront of this coaches mind and he probably regrets his anger. I have met this woman and I could sense from her actions that she is a person who doesn't handle rejection well, that seems to be what the fundamental issue is here.

According to this article she was upset about not being invited to Mr Dasilvas house, well according to all accounts here no one was formally invited and all she had to do was show up like any reasonable person would to an open house service. Instead she chose to use this as a basis for complaining about Mr Dasilva in his presence, very stupid and insensitive to the people that were there, and then complain about his reaction, also stupid.

She did file a complaint, if the incident was such that he would have been suspended anyway then why file the complaint? That would indicate a personal issue, as well as her using her position. The fact that he was only suspended for one game and not fired or suspended for the rest of the season tells me that it is recognised that she was to blame for the incident. If she had no blame he would have been fired for something like this.

This woman showed a lack of compassion and decency. In her comments in this article she further exploits the situation. She is a very insensitive person and I for one have no liking for her.

How so very sad for Victoira's family and friends who have lost someone they loved to have to deal with this incident and the aftermath. Many people grieved for Victoria that were not at Mr. Dasilva's home. The whole Soccer community grieved for her but most of us didn't step foot in the DaSilva home. Ms. Lynch if you were upset you should have kept it to yourself what was the point in bringing it up, there were no rules broken, from what I know there is no rulebook on dealing with the death of a teammate. You should be ashamed of yourself, in a time when you should have of been thinking of the the Sousa family you only were thinking of yourself. Coach DaSilva I applaud you for not commenting for this article, her comments do not deserve a response.

At the very least, we know Lynch has abused her office. Vote her out, and be done with this one woman drama machine.

she should join a soccer team herself to obtain exercise and peace of mind.

Why is there a gathering at a coaches house in the first place? When I played youth and school sports we gathered in a public place. In this day and age this should not be tolerated in the first place. Then for the coach to pick and chose who comes is a little crazy to me as a parent of a 12 year old.

As far as Mrs.Lynch. Sit down an enjoy the sport. Focus on your job as a committee member.

I do however like the twist that the newspaper put on this by stating that this happened near the Kaliegh Raposa Memorial sign.

Good stuff !!!

This did happen by the Kayleigh Raposa Kickboard and thank you Champ08 for recognizing how Coach Raposa must have felt. Noone needed an invitation to grieve for Kayleigh. Everyone

figured out how to help themselves, the family and friends, and the community. whether they knew Kayleigh or not.

response to soccerismylife

Thank you for being honest and expressing the damage and shamefull actions of Ms. Lynch who had no concern other than her own personal opinions. Be well and honest and stick to your beliefs it is great to see young people interested in the actions of an official elected by the people who in my opinon disrespected her position and should resign.

I have thought long and hard on this and feel the high road for this is for Ms. Lynch to resign. And yes I agree with the Dasilva suspension of one game for not controling his temper at a game.

Ms. Lynch however is held to a higher standard due to her position being a town official and therefore should resign for the appearance of abusing her office and the fact she has no respect to conduct herself in a reasonable manner in front of the public at a public event.

Jack

I agree with jack, and not just because I drank six of his beers. ;-)

Or maybe it was seven. :)

What a sad case you are. Nothing better to do than criticize people for commenting on this site. I haven't been the one to bring the Sousas in on this. In your twisted mind do you comprehend what you are reading? There have been several comments by people other than myself about the Sousas and what they are dealing with. Read the whole thread, that is all the comments under the story in case you don't understand what a thread is. I have nothing but compassion for the Sousas. If I had to geuss i'd say your Ms Lynch. Why are you so interested in who I am? Are you attempting to intimidate me? It sure sounds like it.

By the way I actually haven't made a comment on this site for appr a week before monday of this week so I geuss you don't know what you are talking about. There are several other people on this site everyday, all day. Why don't you bother them? Is it because what I say strikes a nerve with you? Remind you of yourself? I really don't care either way, it is my right to post here whether you like it or not.

I actually find it comical that people such as yourself have nothing better to do than find fault with people. I'm glad I can provide you with fodder for your hyppocrate criticizm

I think more comments have been deleted that remain posted.

what is mrs lynch's maiden name??why all the hoopla?? Is she a Lynch, Kennedy, Andreozzi, Harwood, or one of thoe YAHOO RI names?

I don't believe any comments were deleted from this one yet. At least any that were on topic. I am assuming your last comment classy was in jest. If so very funny. If not then isn't that the problem with this woman, thinking she has some kind of authority over this situation.

my first comment along with others were deleted -the truth hurts-and they were not nearly as bad as what is on here now

I do seem to remember the comment nuber at the top was in the 80's a couple of days ago.

Jack

Well I guess i'm not posting on this site everyday as someone suggested or I would have noticed.

I'm assuming because the article refers to her as Ms. Lynch that means she is single and Lynch is her name. If not then nevermind. Who really cares, she has no regard for decency and respect.

If she is married then all I can surmise, based on what I have oberved of her directly and what is in the news, then Mr. Lynch is probably at home hiding under the couch. ;-)

hmm day number 2 of post by jaqdadi to be writen on the calender.

Jack

hehehe, jack the word is written. Got that. :)

oh oh someones might be reading the book of spelling by martel.

Watch it jaqdadi that book will rot your mind. LOL

Jack

hehehe

oh geez just call each other already!!!

i'm sure EBN wised up to the smear campaign being proliferated here and deleated some of the more egregious posts...take note guys as you may be the next ones blocked out...what would you do all day then??? ha!

Geeze Big daddy I might have to sharpen skies and chase Al Gore around Tiverton with Jethro and you. LOL

Jack

PS Notice the spelling is correct on sharpen this time.

hahahaha

hey, is my buddy jethro coming over tonight as well?

maybe we should get bigbaby to come over too. play some cards.

hmmm got an email from jethro have ask him after I check for body guard availibility. Dont know if Big daddy likes beer though have to find out LOL

Jack

I should have walked away from confrontation

To the editor:

As a parent of a child on the Kickemuit Middle School soccer team, I was well within my rights to have a private conversation with the head coach, John Raposa. I have had several conversations with him in the past and all without incident. While I still maintain that the content of that conversation was justified, I acknowledge that a public confrontation is not appropriate for any parent or coach, and I regret that it took place in such a fashion. When the assistant coach, John DaSilva, entered into the conversation and his comments quickly escalated, I should have walked away.

t

Karen Lynch

SEVERAL conversations? Why? Should have walked away after you provoked the situation? Throw fuel on the fire and then run away? Classy.

There never would have been a problem if lynch had been smart enough to know not to discuss a personal problem she obviously has with the coach about something that had absolutly nothing to do with the game at the time or soccer for that matter.

She should have no regrets she should apologize to DaSilva the team and the whole town as should Mr. Dasilva. and the suspension should be removed from his record. This was so obviously Lynchs setup to get back at this man for her own personal vindictiveness.

She caused it all Mr. Dasilva only regret should be that he can't control his temper and needs to learn that, but to suspend him for 1 game is stupid.Since no penalty is being imposed on the real culprit here Lynch apologies should be enough. This is so far out of hand it boggle the mind how Lynch could let it go this far, at least Dasilva was smart enough to say nothing more proably for fear of totaly being unable to coach again which is the real problem with this.

Jack

So Karen,

Are you going to say your sorry to John and the team? Saying it here is one thing but you need to to it out in public. If you write an apology here I will print it out and show everyone.

Within her rights to have a private conversation with the coach. On the field while the team, coaches , parents and others were within earshot. Not to mention she is a member of the school committee and anything she says to school personell should be a matter of record. If this was a supposed private conversation, then why could anybody within erashot hear it? I thought private was just that, no one else around to overhear it. It is obvious to most everyone that she intended a public confrontation and to use her position in such a veiled manner, hiding behind the fact that she is a parent.

Coach Dasiva has taken the high road on this and hasn't said a word, at least publicly. Whenever something like this happens the obvious perpetrator, Ms Lynch in this case, never gets it. They very rarely realise the damage caused by their actions. The people that should get an apology are the kids and the Sousas, they are the ones that have felt the most pain from this incident.

I do disagree with suspending the coach, a written reprimand should have been enough.

Come on she is still in denial she did anything wrong.

As I have read through many of the postings here I am sad to see not one post or an article written about the "real" story here. The KMS Girls Soccer Team made it to the state semi-finals this year and I am not sure exactly how many people actually know this because the paper did not bother to give any coverage to this team all season. So on a positive note I would like to say CONGRATULATIONS to the KMS GIRLS SOCCER TEAM on a wonderful fall season. You certainly made your school and parents proud!!!!!!!!

Then, write up a few paragraphs and submit it, they'll post it here and in the paper. Congrats to the team for overcoming these burdens and doing well.

What doesn't kill you can only serve to make you stronger.

I don't have any idea what transpired between Lynch and DaSilva, but in the wake of the death of a player, the whole thing seems petty.

And I must say- all the concern about kids going to coaches and teachers houses is silly. If you're really worried about your kid being molested by a teacher, you better home school them. And no sports at all. And no playing at a friends house. Put them in a bubble and keep them nice and safe.

Really, stopping by a coaches house to memorialize a deceased player causes fears of molestation? Weird.

now we know why the lynch kid wasn't invited to the dasilva house, mama lynch is a .....

This woman is an egomaniac...considering she is ON the school committee, you would think that the new shed that SHE pushed to be built on the edge of the Mt. Hope parking lot would be used to house and store Mt. Hope athletic equipment...but no. It houses Bristol Pop Warner equipment. And furthermore, guess who built that shed FOR THE SCHOOL...the Mt. Hope shop class. Even worse, the athletic dept at Mt. Hope has to pay some ungodly amount of money to rent a removeable trailer to house THEIR things, when this shed that SHE commissioned is housing Pop Warner stuff....

SHE'S ON THE SCHOOL COMMITTEE...can someone explain to me why my hard earned tax dollars are being wasted on an additional storage facility when we have a brand new shed on the property that was constructed by OUR students?!

P.S. Her son plays on Pop Warner, and her daughter is a Pop Warner cheerleader....

I think that this is a good testament to the fact that she cares only about those things of which her children are a part, and cares nothing for the school department that she was elected to improve.

She does only care for her own children.

And why or why isn't the rest of the school committee doing something about her. I would love for a member to write here. I am sure they are reading it.

I'm sure they made her write that half a@# apology in the paper too.

ahh first off I think posters should stop bring children into this they are not involved other than being victims of this fiasco.

Just a thought ;-}

And "Bahnone" if she is a member who tows the line and votes always with the majority, then lynch gets a pass. Politics as usual for anywhere in R.I.

Jack

Uhh, Jack,

I don't believe anyone ever criticized her children...simply her actions with respect to her children, and neglect of those other children who are a part of the school system that she was elected to better.

And just to clarify, before someone jumps down my throat over my use of the word "neglect," I am simply referring to her neglecting the best interest of the school system as a whole rather than the welfare of the ACTUAL children...I don't suppose that she would actually neglect any children.

Pealbear05 all i said I think her children should not be brought into this on these post. To start posting what sports they are in or to insinuate she only cares for her own children and not others children is wrong. unless someone reads her mind it serves no purpose to this forum to make statements like that or post information about her own children. That was my only concern. Other than that I agree with your last post.

Jack